Please bless my brother in Your arms.

Fate really plays with human beings like me, you, everyone else. For example, I met my dear brother, Darren Ng, on the wrong occasion a few years ago. It was also a wrong occasion which made God take him away from us.

I remember very clearly, in 2007, I first met this charming young boy at Loyang Point's Macs. I don't wanna specify how I met him, but I was glad we became friends after. On Christmas day in 2007, one of my close friends had a BBQ at his house, coincidentally I saw Darren there again. Since then, we became good friends from hi-bye friends. But with our busy schedules like the O-levels then, we lost contact.

And then in 2009, I saw this familiar face at RP's orientation. I was ecstatic, was that Darren? To describe Darren in a sentence, it'd be this: He's a very cheerful guy who never fails to stop loving with his heart of gold.

We went to school almost everyday, had lunch, went home together, had fun together at clubs, and merely those lil heart to heart talks at void decks made me feel comfortable. When you first got your license, I remembered, we took 1 hour to reach parkway from woodlands because you had no sense of direction, so did I. You took 2 hours to reach Vivo from pasir ris, it was really hiliarious.

Basically, Darren was the type of good friend everyone would yearn for. He'd never fail to be there for me. I was once outcasted by my own clique, and Darren was the one who spoke up for me. I appreciated it a lot Darren, thank you. There was once, I quarreled with my ex girlfriend and I was extremely upset. The first person who came into my mind was Darren. I called him, and without saying anything, he came and look for me to accompany me. Now, nobody would call me in the mornings, nobody would call me out at unearthly hours.

I don't know why such a tragedy should happen to a nice guy like Darren. Maybe, God did try to help him. He was strong enough to fight till the 3rd time, God thought that He gave Darren enough chances. I admire your strength brother. You have always been so strong. I miss you, I really do. You went away too quickly, the last sentence you said to me was "Call you tomorrow k, sleep early." And you went to your car and drove off. Where did your phone call go to? You promised me we would go overseas together soon, you promised me we would go to JB this saturday. You promised to teach me how to play the guitar, you promised we would get married on the same day and place. Someone told me that, when I got reunited with my friends a few months back, you told her that you were upset because you and me didn't hang out much anymore. I'm really sorry brother, I didn't realise that as I wasn't sensitive enough. Instead, I thought we were becoming closer and closer each day. You would always laugh at my actions, laughing at me for being gay and running like one. You would ask me not to be emo just because I'm quiet. You taught me what to do and what not to do in Life. I remembered all of that.

I remember we went to watch Twilight together, you were so bored you fell asleep and snored. I really enjoyed prawning with you. I thank you for the hospitality you and your family showed me whenever I appear at your house. Those days are now gone, nobody would call me out and have talks again. Those 8 digits with the contact name as Darren won't appear ever again. You were always there to protect me from any kinds of harm. You took care of me like your little brother, I swear I love you. You told me, you wanted to open franchise of coffeeshops. You wanted to form your own band and be the lead guitarist. You told me you wanted to own dogs of your own as pets in future. Where did all of that go? But don't worry brother, I would fulfil your dreams for you.

Looking at you lying motionless, however hard I tried to wake you up, you didn't. It was really heart wrenching to see you that way. But Darren, you looked as good as ever. Yes I'm saying that you're good-looking, heard that? You would always praise yourself that you're handsome last time and I would say you're thick skinned. But I didn't mean that.

Dear Darren, I really miss you, your family too. Justice is gonna be brought to you soon my dearest brother, wait and see. I really thank you for everything that you have done for me, be it the good times or bad times. I'm really sorry that I couldn't be there when you needed my help, I feel so useless..
Anyway Darren, I'll be waiting for you on Saturday night, because it'll be the 7th day you slept.

I miss you brother, I promise I'll visit you every 30th. Promise me you'll come into my dreams alright?

And to everyone:

The truth will be out soon I believe. Don't judge Darren if you don't know him, because he doesn't like it, neither do I, neither do his loved ones, neither do his friends.

God created the best friend for me, and took him away to help stop his pain so that he could be save with You.

10th August 1991 - 30th October 2010,
Sleep well my dearest brother..